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| Heeeeey guyz!! Sorry I have been gone for so long!!! I have had a crazy summer. I just wanted to post this poem that I found. It was written by this girl in her junior year of high school that writes under the name of "Sarah Bear". Check it out. It blew me the freak away. Give Me Therapy, I'm a Walking Travesty There is not much that is left sacred anymore
This U-S of A is burning down from shore to shore
I seem to look more at the sky then I do that the people around me
I'd rather be in daydreams than face those who surround me
The full time job of waiting for the affection of one guy
We are left in limbo due to the fact we are to shy
The time is running out and we have barely left the starting line
Every day I wait longer I try harder to shine
This world is full of sellouts and washouts
Your either hiding from what you've done or trying to think over the shouts
What side will you choose?
To become fake to win?
Or to stay true and Lose?
I took a nap in the grass today and watched the clouds go by
I said hello to my imagination and told the world goodbye
Even though I was searching the clouds through tear after tear
When you step away from earth everything is so clear
I fill my days with music no matter what month I am living in
December brings Bright Eyes, The Summer brings Saosin
I've had my brushes with Metal that only left me feeling mad
But all this music has kept me going when it was all I had
Currently living in Summer, my least favorite season
The heat gets to him and makes him yell without reason
Maybe it is to much time together or maybe it is the fact I am not the girl he wanted me to be
Father I try so hard for you but you just don't see me
Some people will read this an think it is amazing and some may think I am sad
Some people may see this and be proud and others will be down right mad
I don't want to hear it, I am speaking my heart
The boldness to expose like this is the factor holds the followers and leaders apart
The things I have seen in my own household has made me terrified
Some things have made me down right amazed
I have given all i have so don't say I never tried
But if you think I can hold on your crazed
I wish you knew how much I love being with you
I wish you knew that you blow me away with everything you do
You are so scared to mess up but I adore every word you say
I want to tell you these overwhelming feelings for you but I am scared it won't be ok
The summer is drifting away
It is the hottest now on this August day
Fall is creeping up like a lion
And soon I will have to say good by to... him
It is now 11:41 and I have to get up 6:00 to go back to hell
It is my dad's house but that name works just as well
I don't want to fall asleep! Please don't let the sun show it's face
I can't go back and face him and all his discrace
Friday Friday Friday, the day that is racing towards me now
I want to stop the time I just don't know how
I want to say here where I am safe and sound
Sadly there is nothing to keep nasty nasty Friday from coming around
I am sorry I flipped you off or at least that is what my PR tells me to say
Your Barbie and Ken lifestyle stabs me in the back until I pretend all this pain is ok
You see me cry, you see me clutching the ends of my pockets on my jeans
I tell you I am hurting but you say you don't know what it means
I am glad you are always here for me, you know exactly when you need to come to me
If you weren't my best friend I don't know where I would be
I am always put before your problems even though your life is important too
But still you tell me "Helping you Sarah is my favorite thing to do"
Please don't let him make my life bad tomorrow
I know I was vulgar but one girl can only take so much sorrow
I miss when he meant the world to me and I could make him smile without even trying
Now when ever we talk I leave crying
Please don't worry about me, I am fine
I'm just writing this to pass the time until I can shine
I just need to get things out to where they aren't hurting anymore
I'm just trying to get out all my thoughts so i can be that happy girl you all adore
So until next time this is what I feel
I wouldn't write a word if it wasn't real
I'm tired of watching everyone else livin
There just has to be something about life I have yet to be given
Love,
Sarah Bear
Crazy huh? She has written alot of others. Here is another that she has written. What I have Learned from my Dog What happened to the days where the pride meant something?
Back to the days when love was more than a fling.
When someone was great for the causes they fought for.
We used to know how to talk before we had war.
Now that we have guns what is the use of a word?
Language doesn't matter if it is never heard.
We are going down a path where only darkness lies ahead.
And when we want something the answer will always be bloodshed.
I look at my dog when he sits next to me.
Then I can truly see what we are supposed to be.
He does not judge, he does not fight.
Because he knows I love him and that makes everything alright.
He doesn't need possessions and he doesn't need wealth.
All he cares about is that his family is happy and in good health.
When I am sad he sits by my side and when I am happy we play.
He knows exactly the right things to do even though there is nothing he can say.
I want to love life like that, I want to see only the good.
I really want to see the world how every one should.
We were not put here to compete against each other or to try to be better than everyone we see.
You were meant to be you and I was meant to be me.
I want to feel that unconditional love that my dog knows how to perfectly give.
Because I have found that living for love is the perfect way to live.
I don't want to be the best, I don't want to be rich, I don't want to pull up to lavish parties in a limousine.
I have found that there is more to life than the face that is on the cover of your magazine.
I am perfectly happy unknown and middle-class.
I see no reason to walk down a red carpet when I could be watching the clouds in the grass.
Some people think my dog is stupid, some people think that he is a pest.
All I know is if you want a way to live life, he knows the best.
Wicked right? Anywayz tell me what you think about the poems. I just wanna know cuz I found these amazing. I guess I need to talk about myself a little. AJ didn't go to warped tour with me. I went with Caitlin, Ashley, Zack, David, and Sammi. It was cool. I went to the Anti-Flag show and that was interesting. I really like what they stand for. Anywayz for anyone who doesn't know I am a super duper SAOfan (Saosin fan). I bought two of their shirts and one hoodie. I spent $130 of my warped tour savings at warped tour (I arrived with $140). I waited in front of the Saosin tent for an hour waiting for their signing. It was great!!! Cove is a hot man. Actually they all are except Justin. Sorry Justin, you just aren't my type. Besides, I got AJ. I pretty much just walked around Warped from 11 to 7. It really didn't go to see anyone but Saosin. I went to a As I Lie Dying show before Saosin cuz they were the set before them. They were ok. I'm not that into them. Plus their whole crowd was a sad collection of skanky girls and really annoying chain smoking dudes. After the long wait I made my way up to the front with my mom. Yup, I brought my loving mom with me, not only to Warped Tour but to the front row/mosh pit of the Saosin show. Crazy right? Actually she loved it, lol. I have a kick ass mom. HEY KIDS DO YOU WANNA HEAR A CRAZY RANDOM FACT THAT HAS NO RELIVENCE TO ANYTHING WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!?!?!?!?!!? Okay, okay, you wore me down. Promise you won't laugh? Pinkie promise? Okay here it is (your never gonna believe this when I say it). You: Shawn stop stalling and just say it!!! Do you have an evil twin or something? Haha, sorry. I am a closet Katharine McPhee fan XD DON'T JUDGE HATERS!!! SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL VOICE!!!! Me being a choir boy can understand and appreciate that :D Okay, I'll stop rambling. Holy crap I typed more than I was going to... Still rambling. I am seriously leaving now :) Love Y'all, Shawn <3 | | |
| Haven't updated in a while. I haven't gotten any new music on here in a while either. Does anyone know a good music hosting site? All the ones I have been using stuuuuuuck. Until I can find a new hosting site I think Anberlin is gonna stay on forever (DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM). Anyways, I have been at my dad's forever :p I really wanna go home. I miss my mom alot. Caitlin has been at my house alot even though i haven't been. It is kinda pissing me off a little bit. Of course I have been lieing about it and saying it is fine. Sigh, I have a headache so I am gonna wrap this up. I'm sorry it didn't last long. I jsut felt bad i hadn't updated in a while. I got the new Enter Shikari and All Time Low cds. All Time Low's CD was good. I haven't listened to Enter Shikari yet due to the fact i had to order it online and it got shipped to my mom's. I'm getting "Wisper Wars" by The Cab soon!! Actually tomorrow. I am excited, The Cab is a great band. Well, i have summer school tommorow so i'll catch you guys and girls later!! Love ya'll!! Shawn | | |
| I am now ungrounded!! I am sooooo happy to be able to blog again. I missed all you guys!!! The Libertarian thing from the last blog was wrong. I was uninformed about the beliefs of the Libertarian Party. It am in Green Party. Now that that is cleared up on to the fun stuff! School is over and I am a Senoir now! Now I bet alot of you are asking yourself's "Why is shawn 18 and only a senoir?" The truth comes out. I was held back in kindergarden cuz I was... let's just say... a little mean. Actually I bit people, ALOT. That is actually why my uncle hates me. I bit his daughter when she stole my bottle. She will never let me forget about it -_- Anywayz, nothing much has really happened. I went back to black hair as you can see. I also put a little color in. In the picture I am not really wearing any peircings. I feel now that I am getting older my need to be so outlandish is calming down. I've stopped painting my nails, stopped being so rebelious in class, and stopped wearing make up. It is kinda a weird feeling. I am one year from college though so I guess it is just me getting closer to adulthood. I am still gonna wear peircings I've just not felt the need to wear them as much. Kinda like when you have contacts but barely use them (like me). Yeah, I have been wearing my glasses more often now. I guess I am just calming down. Anywayz this summer I have to go to summer school. Yeah, I am REALLY bad at math. I'm also going to Warped Tour '09!!!!!!!!! I am sooooo psyched XD!!!! I've been waiting for warped tour since the second I left last year. AJ might come, idk. He isn't sayign yet. I'm really only going for Saosin. Warped kinda sucks this year. Why you ask? Uhhh just three little words. THE ACADEMY IS... Yeah, they AREN'T gonna be there this year! I neeeeeed WILLIAM BECKETT!!!! Anywayz, I'll prolly change my music on my blog so yay for that. Love Y'all, Shawn | | |
| Hey everyone! I am at my mom's house and you know what that means! I get to blog! Why am I blogging today? Hmmm, let me think. I believe it is because all my friends are at Ashley's house for a bonfire that I was not invited to. Yeah, my feelings are like MAJORLY hurt right now. Seriously, I thought Ashley and I were friends. Caitlin who is one of my best friends didn't even ask me to go with her. I'll get over it but still I feel like a loser. So I am hanging stag tonight (that means alone for all y'all who don't know what that means :D) and blogging. You guys would invite me to your bonfires right? Sigh, I've been so emotional lately... Today my mom and I went to the store to get some stuff for my choir uniform for our concert. I'm so excited! Our concert is on Tuesday!!! We are dressing in 80's clothes. I love eighties!!!!! I mean it is practicaly what the scene kids wear. The only time period that I like better than the eighties is the sixties. You can't beat peace and drugs, lol. I DON'T do drugs. Aye Jay (AJ, lol, I was trying to be weird) does drugs. Well he really only does weed. Anyways, I love the sixties prolly cuz I am a hippie in emo clothing, lol. REASONS SHAWN JACOB COLTON IS A HIPPIE: - I am a Libertarian
- Yes Libertarian, that does NOT mean Democrat. I am part of the Libertarian party NOT the Democratic party.
- I'm a vegetarian
- Never have touched a gun
- Never wanted to touch a gun
- I have never gotten into a physical fight
- I don't get into many verbal fights
- I'm a very peaceful person
- I hate war
- My boyfriend does drugs
- I wear peace signs
Please know that was all in jest. I do not think all hippies are like that. What else can I talk about. Uhhh, I hope you liked my update of my xanga page. I changed the picture in the corner of the page, the song, and the words at the top of the page. I was getting kinda bored of the old song (Atlanta By Butch Walker for all who didn't know). I still love the song but I like my music do match my life. Atlanta is (obviously) a very sad song. It is about being left behind and forgotten. I was feeling like that. Like I was watching my friends and family live their lifes while I watched behing a glass payne. Mostly I had it on here for the verse that went, I went down to Ashville cuz thats where you were/ Where you married into money and pills/ And all that I wanted was to be good with you now/ but the fact is, I never will/ Because some become lovers, because of the sex/ and some, they just become friends/ in our case we just became bad at it all/ and we never got good at it again
It was about my friend Nathan. We haven't been on the best terms. Now the song is "The Unwinding Cable Car" By Anberlin. I put it on here because things are still pretty shitty but I am feeling hopefull. That's how I feel when I hear this song. I remember the first time I heard it. From the first notes I was amazed. I had always veiwed Anberlin as a "good-enough" band. You know those right? Those bands you listen to because they are good enough to bear. To me those are bands like The Maine, Boys Like Girls, We The Kings, crap like that. Anyway, I heard that song and my opinon of them was changed forever. They were no longer good-enough, they were good. I guess that is kinda like me. I used to be good enough. People hung out with me only when their other friends weren't avialable. Now people actually want to be with me and that is great. Although, as long as I have AJ I am happy as a clam :D. Wow, I just took a quiz and it says the pokemon I am is a Vileplume. Whatever, I am totally a Arcanine. Lol, I am such a nerd. Ok, I am going to eat smores. TTYL!!!!! Love Y'all, Shawn Jacob Colton P.S.- I got tired of the Blonde so as you can see I added some lowlights :D | | |
| Wowie, I have been updating like a mofo lately. I've got alot on my mind and no little place to let it out I guess ^_^ For all y'all who have been wondering about what AJ looks here is a picture of him.  Watch your hormones children, he is mine. ROWR! Seriously, I'll fuckin kill you... Annnnnnny wayyyyyyyzzzzzz, what else has been going on in my little life? Uhhhh, I hung out a Caitlin's today (as I normally do). We watched "Yes Man" while her dog repetitively stepped on my crotch trying to get onto the couch. She is lucky I love her and I'll put up with that. Owwwwie, it hurt. You guys get me right? But besides my uncomfortable crotch area, yeah stop fantasizing about it :p my day was good. I went to the mall with my brother and mother. We got the texting fixed on my phone, yay! Then we went to FYE were I turned in a bag full of CD's and got 16 dollas in credit. Yeah, I'm fuckin rollin baby. Sadly, I had to give all that to my broham plus the rest of my giftcard (it only had $4 on it). A few days ago he bought me the new Pokemon game cuz I am poor as hell. Yeah, laugh it up but pokemon fuckin rocks. Wow, I'm saying "fuckin" a whole bunch of fuckin times to-fuckin-night. Anywayzzz, I owed him for buying me Pokemon Platinum so I gave him my giftcard and store credit so he could buy some crappy Skullcandy lowriders. I wanted the new Cash Cash cd but whatev... Then we headed over to Marshall's (or as my and Michael call it Marshmallow's. Marshal on "How I Met Your Mother" is nicknamed Marshmallow by his fiance Lilly. Don't worry about it.) to find my mom and then my angelic little brother buys me a shirt. Seriously. when we get older he will still be buying me shit. I have the hardest time saving my money. Actually I am saving my money for Warped Tour. How the hell I'm doing that I have no clue. I am really bad at saving money. I am putting away $20 a month until Warped Tour. By the time Warped rolls around I'll have 140 or160 dollars. I'm such a pimp. What else could I talk about? Idk, not alot of people are reading my blog anymore. It saddens me but I understand why. I had been grounded for a while so alot of people think I am still pretty inactive on the site. I'll be on until Friday night, then I will be back at my dad's and I'll be grounded again. I'm a bad, bad, bad, boy. Y'all should stay away from me. Lol, jk. I am really nice (at least I hope so). OH YEAH!!! Before I forget! The cigarette looking think near my mouth is not a cigarette. It is a pencil. i was trying to look artistic and I ended up looking like a smoker, which I am not. I look so preppy in that picture, lol... OH NO! Preps, lol. Why do they even exist? Jk, I'm being mean. I think this is all the rambling I have an attention span for. FOR ALL THE JEWS HAPPY PASSOVER!!!!!!!! FOR ALL THE CATHOLICS HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!! FOR EVERYONE ELSE HAPPY LIFE!!!!!!!!!! LOVE Y'ALL, Shawn Jacob Colton P.S. For all y'all who don't already know, I am celebrating Passover due to the fact I'm a Jew. | | |
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